Gregor Collins memoir, The Accidental Caregiver, is an uplifting love story. Almost immediately, the short, catchy, title evokes a reader’s curiosity. One might ask, “How does a person ’accidentally’ become a caregiver, and so what?”
Collins opens the story rambling about the pits of his acting career; he completed a starring role in the independent feature Night Before the Wedding, yet, he was constantly in between jobs, hoping for his “big break.” At 32, in Collins desperation for money he accidentally became the caregiver for Maria. He described her as,” A wealthy Holocaust refugee from Austria, who grew up before World War I ended, before women had the right to vote, before the NFL was created, before band aids, stainless steel, the electric fridge, and the modern zipper were invented.”
In their first encounter, the young Collins succumbed to her beauty and grace. Maria had a bone-deep, visceral impact on Collins —she seeped into his psyche and became the great love of his life; her bright aura and her feminine mystique affected him emotionally, leaving him awestruck. At that point, Collins surprisingly believed he was in love with his 90-year-old client. He was befuddled, because he always feared love and did not take part in love. Over the course of the book, the truth that Collins learns from Maria is special—the love that appears to frighten you is the one you long to embrace.
Love is the theme. The emotional intensity between Collins and Maria drives the pace of this 379 page memoir. Collins’ boyish admiration and love for Maria illuminated through their conversations, bantering, and flirting with each other. For the first time in life, Collins discovers love—the force that empowers abundant joy and happiness, living, and self-realization. Collins candidly unveils to his readers his account of self betterment on his journey to find love. In a punchy, clear, coherent writing style, Collins writes compelling and powerful passages of love, intimacy, and commitment. Over the course of the book, the window of Collins’ mind, heart and soul lends itself for illumination and reveal the depths of his being.
Collins candidly, as though he is a having a conversation with his lifelong loyal friend, unveils intimate details, raw thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that open the door to love. Collins cleverly pulls back the curtain and allows his readers to peek into the life of Maria: her love for opera and travel, as well as, her family and friends. Skillfully, he weaves wisdom and history in the story through Maria’s eyes. She and her husband escaped the Nazi regime. Maria and her husband built their riches from their clothing business, but she gained her wealth with the settlement she received after she sued to retrieve her paintings that were stolen during World War I.
Within weeks, Collins confessed that he is committed to love, and he will be with Maria forever; however, the story continues, and Collins realizes and admits that Maria did not enter his life to be his love interest. “She was here to interest me in love; to show me who I truly am, and who I could truly be. You were here to honor me and to trust me, and to be my stalwart friend. And I was here to return that to you tenfold” says Collins.
The exchange between caregiver and recipient is usually quite simple, services in exchange for payment. Not only did Collins accompany Maria on trips, to the opera, cultural events, great dining, visits with family and friends with a selfless attitude, but he also brought enthusiasm while performing Maria’s per functionary daily living activities. Collins never thought nor had a desire, to be someone’s caregiver, but his reality was such that he needed money to pay his bills. Collins confesses, “Being able to pay my bills is awesome, really, but this woman and her family are already giving me more than any amount that can be written on a check. Life really doesn’t suck when you’re surrounded by love.” pg.33
I strongly recommend reading this book; it is fun, humorous, and it tugs at your emotional chords. Collins wrote this book to share his journey to love. Along the route, Maria’s wisdom expanded his capacity for the love he had denied himself. He falls in love with himself. I believe “baby boomers,” would enjoy reading the Accidental Caregiver, Collins youthfully applauds age and wisdom as he brilliantly illustrates to his readers.
