by M@sterWriter | Jan 26, 2013 | Uncategorized
Gregor Collins memoir, The Accidental Caregiver, is an uplifting love story. Almost immediately, the short, catchy, title evokes a reader’s curiosity. One might ask, “How does a person ’accidentally’ become a caregiver, and so what?”
Collins opens the story rambling about the pits of his acting career; he completed a starring role in the independent feature Night Before the Wedding, yet, he was constantly in between jobs, hoping for his “big break.” At 32, in Collins desperation for money he accidentally became the caregiver for Maria. He described her as,” A wealthy Holocaust refugee from Austria, who grew up before World War I ended, before women had the right to vote, before the NFL was created, before band aids, stainless steel, the electric fridge, and the modern zipper were invented.”
In their first encounter, the young Collins succumbed to her beauty and grace. Maria had a bone-deep, visceral impact on Collins —she seeped into his psyche and became the great love of his life; her bright aura and her feminine mystique affected him emotionally, leaving him awestruck. At that point, Collins surprisingly believed he was in love with his 90-year-old client. He was befuddled, because he always feared love and did not take part in love. Over the course of the book, the truth that Collins learns from Maria is special—the love that appears to frighten you is the one you long to embrace.
Love is the theme. The emotional intensity between Collins and Maria drives the pace of this 379 page memoir. Collins’ boyish admiration and love for Maria illuminated through their conversations, bantering, and flirting with each other. For the first time in life, Collins discovers love—the force that empowers abundant joy and happiness, living, and self-realization. Collins candidly unveils to his readers his account of self betterment on his journey to find love. In a punchy, clear, coherent writing style, Collins writes compelling and powerful passages of love, intimacy, and commitment. Over the course of the book, the window of Collins’ mind, heart and soul lends itself for illumination and reveal the depths of his being.
Collins candidly, as though he is a having a conversation with his lifelong loyal friend, unveils intimate details, raw thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that open the door to love. Collins cleverly pulls back the curtain and allows his readers to peek into the life of Maria: her love for opera and travel, as well as, her family and friends. Skillfully, he weaves wisdom and history in the story through Maria’s eyes. She and her husband escaped the Nazi regime. Maria and her husband built their riches from their clothing business, but she gained her wealth with the settlement she received after she sued to retrieve her paintings that were stolen during World War I.
Within weeks, Collins confessed that he is committed to love, and he will be with Maria forever; however, the story continues, and Collins realizes and admits that Maria did not enter his life to be his love interest. “She was here to interest me in love; to show me who I truly am, and who I could truly be. You were here to honor me and to trust me, and to be my stalwart friend. And I was here to return that to you tenfold” says Collins.
The exchange between caregiver and recipient is usually quite simple, services in exchange for payment. Not only did Collins accompany Maria on trips, to the opera, cultural events, great dining, visits with family and friends with a selfless attitude, but he also brought enthusiasm while performing Maria’s per functionary daily living activities. Collins never thought nor had a desire, to be someone’s caregiver, but his reality was such that he needed money to pay his bills. Collins confesses, “Being able to pay my bills is awesome, really, but this woman and her family are already giving me more than any amount that can be written on a check. Life really doesn’t suck when you’re surrounded by love.” pg.33
I strongly recommend reading this book; it is fun, humorous, and it tugs at your emotional chords. Collins wrote this book to share his journey to love. Along the route, Maria’s wisdom expanded his capacity for the love he had denied himself. He falls in love with himself. I believe “baby boomers,” would enjoy reading the Accidental Caregiver, Collins youthfully applauds age and wisdom as he brilliantly illustrates to his readers.
by M@sterWriter | Jan 26, 2013 | Uncategorized
The power of courage is more than being brave; it involves overcoming fear and doing the right thing. In Kathryn Stockett’s debut book, The Help, she unveils the unwarranted, degrading attitudes and behaviors she witnessed in her hometown, Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights movement. Stockett‘s intense conviction to effect change for the people suffering and the conditions in which she lived daily moved her to align herself with the African-American maids. Communication breaks barriers through honest expression and at the same time creates strength in the person, thereby effecting change.
In order to tell her story, Stockett developed three main characters: two maids, Aibileen and Minny, and Skeeter, the writer. Aibileen is a quiet, hardworking, praying woman; Minny, her best friend, is feisty, loud and outspoken. When the book begins, both women have been maids their entire lives. Aibileen and Minny consistently work for upper-class white women. Although Stockett interviewed eleven maids in preparation for writing this book, she focuses primarily on Aibileen and Minny’s stories; they act as a representation of the stories of most maids.
In 1960’s Mississippi, society understood that being a maid was one of the only jobs for black females. Aibileen recalls all the females that came before her were maids: her mother, her grandmother, her great-grandmother and her aunts. It was a way of life and black females accepted this and acted accordingly. The matriarchs of black families began to train their young relatives in the responsibilities and duties of being “the help” at an early age. Minny was trained by her mother at the age of sixteen. In turn, she trained her daughter at the age of fourteen.
Stockett shows Caucasian females’ lives were similarly mapped out from a young age: society expected them to marry, have babies and hire maids to care for their homes and families. Her character, Skeeter yearned to understand the maids’ perspective on taking care of white families. As the protagonist Skeeter, a young Caucasian woman, went against the norm, people began to take notice. She graduated college, single, and earned a living as a writer; moreover, she vowed to treat all people with dignity. As a catalyst for the story’s events, Skeeter pondered the love, respect and admiration she felt for her house keepers. The treatment of the maids spurned her to study the sociology of individual lives. The people living in her hometown were the subjects of this study, which resulted in her questioning their laws and practices. One important aspect of the story on which Stockett chooses to focus is the act of maids raising their employers’ children, cooking their meals and cleaning their homes. Despite this intimate involvement, the employers still did not want the help to use the family bathrooms. The employers were terrified; they actually believed that black people had diseases they might contract if they were allowed to use the same bathrooms as their white employers. Consequently, many white employers built bathrooms outside their houses for the use of the maids. By describing the working conditions of the maids, Stockett describes the hypocrisy and lunacy of the times.
As Skeeter examined the mistreatment the Mississippi women enacted on their domestic workers, additional injustices ride to the surface—racism, oppression of women and disparate socioeconomic status. The people of Jackson despised Skeeter, expressing their discontent with her in many ways. They made her an outcast and excluded her from society events and social groups. Skeeter’s desire for change was greater than her personal desire for acceptance among her peers. Thus, she felt compelled to align herself with the maids and make their stories public not only to display the inhuman injustices one group inflicts on another group, but also the intrinsic kindness of those who opposed the injustice. The overall purpose of this novel is to effect change in attitudes and behavior and to bring about a more harmonious society.
Throughout Stockett’s book, it is evident that people within any society can change their attitudes, one person and one action at a time. It was evident that there were individuals belonging to both races who believed in the goodness of humanity. These people were convinced that change can be effected with one simple act. The kindness of the maids, sharing love, encouragement, and wisdom, was demonstrated by their use of phrases to empower their employers’ children. This started at an early age by instilling in their minds statements like, “You are important,” “You are smart,” and “You are kind.” Aibileen says this as she spurs the baby’s self-esteem. Another pertinent point in Stockett’s text was the kindness of many of the Caucasians. Minny’s employer credits her for saving her life. A white lawyer took the case of poor black women pro bono. Some Caucasians secretly gave blacks food, money, and clothing. “Kindness don’t have boundaries,” says Aibileen “lines between black and white are not there, either (p. 312).”
This book’s title, The Help, is very appropriate; it encapsulates the content of the book. Through the stories, the book addresses various themes: the oppression of women, racism and prejudice based on socioeconomic status. Though many people are good, this cannot be said for all. Some people are oppressors, jagged rocks thrown into the quiet pond. It is easier to look at the attitudes and behaviors of the oppressors in this book from both a spiritual and a psychological point of view. Most of these characters who oppressed others could not provide valid reasons for their choice to do so. Therefore, we can conclude that the attitudes and behaviors developed psychologically and socially. These ideals were passed down from generation to generation, the generational curse. Consequently, it is the responsibility of each individual in society to ignite change. It is tantamount that we each take the time to discover who we are, know our values, know thyself and to thyself be true.
The maids feared for their lives and livelihoods for partaking in removing the scales off the eyes of Mississippi oppressors. Their potential lay hidden under the inhuman treatment of African-American women. Clearly, the maids understood something had to happen to effect change. They reached inside themselves and used their courage to give birth to Stockett’s book, The Help, written to share their stories and to effect change.
Gregor Collins memoir, The Accidental Caregiver, is an uplifting love story. Almost immediately, the short, catchy, title evokes a reader’s curiosity. One might ask, “How does a person ’accidentally’ become a caregiver, and so what?”
